He looked over the paperwork. What the hell do I do with this one he thought. He was fine with sorting souls, but every now and again one would pop up like this. The file started easily enough.
Serial adulterer. Three, yes, three divorces and four marriages. If at first you don’t succeed try, try, try and finally try again, he mused. I mean really, surely after two times the women in his life cottoned on to the fact he would not be sticking around. Then there were the children, seven. Just left, discarded like a fast-food restaurants packaging. Then there had been more affairs than he cared to read through, page after page of people used and then dumped. Finally, the cherry on the top of a pink orgy of a cake, he had forced one of his conquests to have an abortion. So it has to be lust, doesn’t it?
This was usually easy, but no, this case was going to be a pain in the arse. Onwards and upwards, or in this case, deeper and deeper into the paperwork rabbit hole.
Money, all he cared about was money. The more he could get, the happier he felt. It was never long lasting, how could it be it was just an extra few numbers added to his already overflowing off-shore account. Funnelling it from pet projects, from anyone really, but he especially enjoyed taking it from those in need. He runs his finger down the page, that is not fair, he need not exaggerate things. It wasn’t that he enjoyed it; it was just they were less able to fight back. It was stealing the candy from the baby, and if you saw what he had left in his account, it would be hard to say he was not good at it.
Wrath and violence. He was guilty of both. Not by his own hand. He was not that stupid, but using others to carry out his revenge. Conspiring to have people beaten up, it had gone too far once or twice but there was no point crying over spilt blood right. That was what he thought, wrongly. Just an admission of guilt once or twice, and he may not have been looking at eternity down here.
Fraud, he was a fraud, of this he knew. He could have told you straight away after scanning the file. What made it worse was once again that very human trait of digging a hole, then instead of admitting you are wrong, you just keep on digging. A certain irony in that the deeper they dug, the more likely they are to end in Hell. The internet had made it easier. Does that mitigate in a little? No, he didn’t think it did. He had known what he was doing was wrong. Spreading rumours, dishing the dirt that many times was not true, all to build his own profile.
And finally, he ate. Oh, my word did he eat. It may not have been the worse crime in the world. It was not in any way the worse thing that he had done in his life. It was something that niggled; it was not the worse, but it was also one that he had committed daily. Monday through to Friday, Saturdays and Sundays he would pass rows of homeless, starving people and he just ignored them. Would it really have been so much hardship for him to have helped them occasionally? He just ignored them, walking along nose held high as they lived in abject poverty. Siphoning money, channelling wave after wave into his own accounts and ignoring those most in need. Helping the needy was something everyone should do, it was everybody could do. Yet he didn’t. He turned a blind eye.
He fingered the paperwork, tapping all four and the thumb on the top page. What to do, what to do with him. Then he had an idea. This one was in greed, he deserved it. Love thy fellow man, yet he only loved himself. But then, then it was over. Then this life, this job, fuck it.
He lent forward and flicked a switch, the sign on the door flicked from open to closed. It had always been there; he had just never had a reason to use it before.
Hell was closed for business, Earth and humanity deserved each other.