He looked into the demon’s eyes; the demon looked right back into his. He had been an atheist all his life, from the moment he was aware of religion his mind had just rejected the idea. Sky fairies, gods, angels, demons! Hah bollocks to all that, he knew better. He realised as he sat with this demon that maybe, just maybe, he had been wrong. “I am not a demon” the not-demon said. He looked her over. Her being a relative term. It was a demon, not-demon. Boobs, check. Legs, check, sexual allure, check. “So, what are you?” he asked, then as an afterthought “and how did you know what I was thinking? Can You Read My Mind?”
Tuck away those thoughts, it’s a demon.. not-demon!
“I’m a succubus, not a demon. Different things, different. Very, very different,” She stresses this last point. “And no, I can’t read your mind. You people always think we are demons”.
“But,” he looks around. Red walls made of human (?) bones. Lava flowing freely throughout the land, smoke bubbling from fire pits. “This is hell, your a demonic creature, so demon, everything else is schematics”.
“Schematics? schematics!” she tenses her lips together, running her tongue along her teeth, seemingly oblivious to the small spikes at the end of each one. “Do you think it would be acceptable for me to go to a dog and say ‘Her human, hows it hanging?’ No, it wouldn’t be. But, oh look, you both live in the same place, so you must be the same”.
“Okay, okay. Point made,” he says.
Jesus Christ, she goes on and on.
“So do you know where you are?” she asks.
“Duh, Hell,” he replies. It has blurted out like the ketchup from a tube once it started it would not stop. “But really Hell? Like this? It is all a bit stereotypey, isn’t it? Couldn’t you have done something original? It is the look I’d expect a toddler to come up with!”
STOP! Brain engage before mouth. Brain engage before mouth.
“First, this is not Hell. This is a circle of Hell. Do you decide what Earth is like? No, you do not. Same as we don’t choose this,” She pauses, takes a breath. “Second,” she holds up her hand, two fingers showing, long painted manicured nails. “This is Heresy, you are here because of the crimes you committed on Earth”.
Wait, Brain before mouth, brain before mouth.
“I did not commit any crimes. How is not believing in this a crime?”. He asks, finally thinking before speaking.
“You not believing, not a problem. That is your choice. The fact you formed that organisation…”.
“Come on, that was a joke. I even gave it a stupid name!”. He pleaded, explained and tried to dodge.
“Yes. Faith And Religions (are) Trash. We are aware. The fact is, that at last count you had over three million people subscribing. You made money from people by selling your version of the truth”.
Guilty as charged.
“I sold an idea to people. I don’t apologise for that. That people bought it is on them. I admit I was wrong, but I didn’t change people’s minds! They already didn’t believe!”.
“That’s just not true, your seminars, your videos convinced many people. I have a list here,” she leans over and picks up a wad of papers. Sheets after sheets. Printed on an old style dot-matrix printer. Bullet holes down each side. “I can read them all out of you’d like”.
“No” he says, resigned to his fate. How do you argue with a succubus? “No, it is fine. So now I am damned to be here forever?”
Bugger, Bollocks, Arse, AHHHHHH!
“Here?” She smiles, “No, not here. We have a task for the likes of you”.
Wait, what! Hold on. Timeout here. Brain, speak to me. What’s the catch?
“Whats the catch?” He asks, very aware now of the smile on her face. A woman, non-demon.. succubus smiling at him in that way would usually be an attraction.
So sue me
But this time it felt like a subconscious warning.
Run away, run away, run away NOW!
Nowhere to run though, it is like a paralytic is flowing through the lower half of his body. He just can’t move. Stuck to the chair.
“You are going back to Earth”.
Shit! What! Oh damn. I am going to be a rat aren’t I? Oh please God, not a Boyband member, please anything but that!
“You will not have any memories of this, nothing at all, but you will do what we want you to do when you get there”.
“What you want me to do?” he stutters, this does not sound good. Are they going to make him a killer? Something worse?
Her smile gets longer, dragging over her face. She leans forward, looking directly into his eyes. She loves this moment, the complete lack of hope draining from the whites. The moment they realise that Hell really does not sound that bad. Can’t I stay many of them plead, they just die a little more inside.
“Yes, you will go in to politics”.
She cackles with laughter as we depart. We can hear the screams behind us. Some things are much worse than immortal damnation.